Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Part Forty-One, Chapter One - Gris is Vomiting Again

Nothing but a lot of puking and ranting.

The voyage on the Sanci (again, Turkish for "stomachache") is giving Gris extreme seasickness, so he's in a cabin barfing into a bucket.  And it says a lot about Mission Earth that this evokes a sense of nostalgia, to the carefree days back on Voltar where Gris spent a third of the book trying to figure out why the thought of harming Heller made him physically ill, setting the stage for long subplots that ultimately had no effect on the wider narrative nor led to any character development.  Back before mobster hospitals or male genital enhancement, before misandric lesbian masochists and mail-order belly dancers, before mob wars and mad publicists.  Back in the carefree days when we wondered if the aliens would manage to leave the planet before the end of the book.

Gris is really melodramatic about his urpy tummy - "At first I was so sick that I was afraid I was going to die.  Then I became so much sicker that I was afraid I wouldn't." - but he eventually comes to terms with his condition and engages in some self-reflection.

A dented, rusty bucket in which fish scales were sloshing around with vomit makes a remarkably good crystal ball.  One can see quite clearly that much future of this kind was definitely hazardous to one's health.

Wince-inducing grammar aside, those two sentences made me smirk, have to admit it.

The cause of all Gris' problems is obvious - "HELLER!"  Yes, if it weren't for Heller's survey of the planet (that somehow got through Gris' censors to reach the Voltarian government), there wouldn't be need for Mission Earth in the first place.  Heller was also the reason the Widow Tayl and Nurse Bildirjin are pregnant, and interrupted Gris' peaceful hunting ship to the Blike Mountains four books ago.

HELLER!  He had turned them all against me: Meeley, Ske, Bawtch, Mudur Zengin, Karagoz, Faht Bey.  He had plotted

Yeah, freely mixing the banker who just appeared this book with Gris' landlady from book one who hasn't appeared in hundreds of pages.  And I have completely forgotten who Ske was.

had plotted, plotted and plotted some more to get me into trouble.  Prahd, Krak, Ahmed, Ters and all this hellish crew of screaming demons would not be haunting me and sneering at me and standing with the Prophet in the clouds egging the women on to stone me to death.

I haven't fully read it yet, but I've encountered an article that argues that stoning is a cultural phenomenon rather than something explicitly ordered by the Qur'an.  So are things like burqas and female genital mutilation, for that matter.  You can't dump everything wrong with a region on the prevailing religion - give some credit to ordinary people, not gods or prophets.

HELLER!  Oh, how very clearly I understood at last that it was all his fault!

We get six paragraphs like this that start with "HELLER!" by the way.  These are just the last few.

HELLER!  I vowed a holy vow upon the bail of the fish bucket that if it took the rest of my life, short though it may be, I would wreak vengeance upon him for all the suffering he was inflicting upon me with such sadistic glee.

When it became totally clear to me what had gone wrong with my life, I knew exactly what I must do.

The vow of vengeance apparently wasn't the deciding factor.

I must go to New York.  Regardless of any personal danger, regardless of any travail, I must end Heller once and for all.  For the good of the Confederacy, for the good of Earth, for the good of all life everywhere, I must handle this menace to all the universe: HELLER!

And so, after running out of money, fleeing the country, and burning down much of Istanbul, Gris has resolved to do the job he was sent to Earth to do in the first place.

We're on page 252 and we're finally going to start advancing the main plot again.  Up 'til this point the most important thing that happened was the chapter where Gris learned how Heller was using the time-sight to get rich enough to further his goals.  Other than that it's been Heller's failed attempt to make money in Atlantic City and Gris suddenly receiving and subsequently squandering his fortune.  So two-thirds of this book?  Pointless.


Back to Part Forty, Chapter Eight

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