Questions Answered

What's with the title?

It's a throwback to when this blog was all about Mission Earth, as well as my way of being "creative" and "clever" by replacing one word of a book's title with the word Spork to indicate that I'm sporking it. This undoubtedly hampers internet search engines, but let it not be said that I give up on my bad ideas.

The hell is a "sporking?"

It's related to the term "MSTing," itself named for the show Mystery Science Theater 3000, in which a man and two puppets would watch a movie and "riff" on it by supplying sarcastic commentary, pointing out plot holes, making fart noises, etc. I believe the term "sporking" properly refers to a script-style variant involving bad fan fiction, so I may be misusing it here. In any case it's a mixture of high-minded criticism and cranky sarcasm used to poke fun at bad media.

Why these books?

Once upon a time I heard about how terrible the Battlefield Earth film was, and was curious about how the book stacked up.  I noticed that while other sporkers were tackling the likes of Eragon or Twilight, I couldn't find anyone doing Battlefield Earth.  So I did a blog about it, and towards the end people started suggesting I do Mission Earth next, and from there I moved on to other entries from the author's bibliography. So I guess I'm filling a Hubbard-based niche, which is a very strange thought.

What makes you qualified to criticize these books?

My mouse, keyboard and internet connection, as well as the five bucks I shelled out for a used book and the shipping cost. No, I'm not an English major or anything, which is not to say that I didn't enjoy the subject or get good grades in it. Mostly I read a lot of books, and I like to think I can distinguish good literature from a waste of paper, while hopefully presenting my critique in an amusing and entertaining manner.

What's your beef with Scientology and Hubbard?

It's nothing personal, I just think the "religion" is profoundly stupid and litigation-happy, while Hubbard was a scheming lunatic and godawful writer. Although I guess he could have been right about the whole global Nazi-banker-psychologist conspiracy, and my antipathy towards him and his followers results from secret subconscious conditioning my psychotherapist mother put me through as a child... (remember, "psychotherapist" is an anagram for "the psycho rapist")

Can I reference Mission: Spork in _____?

I'm not sure I could stop you even if I wanted to, so go on ahead.

Do you read the post comments?

Rarely.  It's a failing of mine, but once I make a post I tend to get shy and avoid looking back at it, like I'm embarrassed by what I wrote or afraid to see what others think of it.  I'm trying to get better at it, but I'll warn that there's no guarantee that I'll read a given response, and anyone hoping for a conversation is likely to be disappointed.

Do you have an update schedule?

Not really.  Depends on how long it takes me to put a post together, what else I have to do, whether I'm bedridden with infected thetans, etc.  I try to be regular when I have a project, though. 

Has anybody actually asked these questions, or is this just you holding a Q-A session with yourself?

I'm just trying to be prepared, is all.