Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Part Thirty-Eight, Chapters One and Two - A Whack for the Bank

Yeah, despite ending last chapter ranting about how his enemies are going to suffer now that he's filthy rich, Gris kicks off this chapter sitting in Mr. Zengin's office, while his new friend paces and frets about security concerns.  See, with the exchange rate as it is, even if Gris cashed his bank note in thousand-lira bills, he'd still end up carting fifty thousand of them around in a donkey-pulled cart.  Gris concedes that's a problem, especially since donkeys are "treacherous, too.  They lie in wait and kick."

Mr. Zengin begins to spell out a plan to set up a checking account in the Afyon branch of his bank, but Gris is suspicious that someone could forge his signature and rob him.  So Zengin changes tactics and promises that he can get Gris a 30% return on short-term loans, rather than the 10% per annum the Swiss sold him on.  Yes, if Gris takes his advice and cancels his "concubine"'s credit card and restricts himself to spending less than ten thousand dollars a week, Zengin will manage the rest of his money "in such a way that they increase and do not diminish." 

Gris is amazed, especially when Zengin whips out the proper paperwork, which he had prepared while he and Gris were visiting the credit card companies.  And Gris, who is facing trouble with simply transporting his fortune, and who less than a page ago was convinced that Zengin was trying to rip him off, decides to go along and receive his huge sack of lira and coinage.

The guy wasn't a crook after all!  He was really helping me out!  He'd make his own whack for the bank but I was richer than ever!

I signed.

Trying to struggle out of that office, the string of the heavy bale cutting my fingers and the bag of coins pulling my wrist out of joint, I felt wealthier than Croesus and Midas combined!

And a rich Gris was a very dangerous Gris, as people were about to discover.

So as you can expect, in the next chapter Gris prepares to act against Heller and Krak, mobilizing his newfound wealth to... buy a car.

The taxi driver whose name I keep forgetting because the book rarely uses it is very impressed with Gris' giant wad of Turkish lira, and keeps saying "Wow" as he takes Gris the wrong way, ending up in front of a once-proud estate in a slum past an industrial district.  It's crowded, and when Gris sticks his shotgun out the window and fires into the air, it only attracts more gawking pedestrians.  So Gris throws a "fat fistful of worthless Turkish coins" to get them moving a different direction.  This probably counts as foreshadowing concerning the fate of his fortune.

Ignoring Gris' orders to take him home, the taxi driver explains that he's here for "the car."  Now, I can't find a mention of "the car" in this book, but last book the taxi driver mentioned that he needed to get Gris an armored limo, at least until Gris revealed that he was broke and the driver lost interest and drove off.  But now that Gris is rich again, taxi driver has gone right back to his plan of upgrading his boss' vehicle, no matter how much Gris protests.

Taxi driver insists that this is a "real find," an antique Daimler-Benz once owned by a prominent general descended from Kultegin, whose red, horned eagle emblem decorates the car.  Yes, it's over twenty-five years old and a major fixer-upper.  Yes, it's under a tarp covered in chicken droppings.  Yes, the sellers are an ancient, toothless, beak-nosed man with an "evil cackle" and a fat, dirty woman.  But - that's right, it's Ahmed! 

Anyway, Ahmed is very eager to buy the bulletproof limo on Gris' behalf, even though the sellers try to drive up the price because of its historical value - after all, the general who used to own it was killed in the backseat (he had the windows down).  Gris moans to himself: "Here went the bulk of my week's allowance for a piece of junk!"

Gris, honey?  You have a gun.  If Ahmed the taxi driver doesn't feel like respecting the chain of command, you could see if he listens better to a shotgun.  Or just take his keys and drive yourself home.

The deal goes through, as the ancient man watches while "cackling his evil laugh," and Gris is utterly helpless to stop it.  He's relieved when the sale turns out to be only the equivalent of two hundred bucks, but then Ahmed the taxi driver checks in at a garage and learns that the repair costs will come to a neat five thousand US.  And Gris, "beaten," can only fork over the money and take solace in the fact that "it was only a one-time only expense.  And I could call upon the Afyon Branch at any time for more."

I have a sinking feeling that the rest of Fortune of Fear is going to consist of Gris utterly squandering his wealth, chapter after chapter of us watching him get ripped off, make useless purchases, and fail to have an effect on the actual plot.

Maybe I'm wrong, though.  Maybe next chapter he's going to, in complete contrast with the rest of Mission Earth, start acting like an effective villain.


Back to Part Thirty-Seven, Chapters Eight and Nine

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