Thursday, October 27, 2011

Part Ten, Chapter Four - Stinkens and Snahp

It takes four hours to get Colonel Stinkens sober, but Gris gets it done thanks to a supply of sobriety pills, hot jolt, and Gris' grasp of Psychology! The disappointing thing is that we don't see how he uses this pseudoscience to convince the alcohol to leave Stinky's system, as it's lost somewhere in the gulf between chapters. Missed a chance for some good satire there, Hubbard.

Hmm, or maybe that was smart of him. Gris Psychologying the colonel sober might look uncomfortably close to a Scientologist using Dianetics to cure someone of nearsightedness, and that could raise questions that Hubbard wouldn't want asked.

Anyway, Stinky asks who Gris is and what's going on, and the Apparatus agent explains that he's Timp Snahp from Army Intelligence, and he needs Stinky for a top-secret mission relating to espionage on Flisten. Someone's been stealing top secret super-sensitive bugging devices for sale on the black market, and Stinky is needed to go to one of the manufacturers here on Voltar and inspect their stock with an eye towards similar electronics, so Gris - excuse me, Snahp - can compare the serial numbers and stuff.

In other words, this whole convoluted set-up is so Gris knows which bugs to get his hands on. Good grief.

Well, the Supply officer is very excited by all of this and happy to do his patriotic duty. Gris goes off and uses Stinky's "identoplate" to make a call to THE EYES AND EARS OF VOLTAR COMPANY and set up an appointment for after dark, then helpfully "finds" the "dropped" ID when Stinky fumbles on the floor looking for it. They head out, and it turns out Stinky has his own driver, but Gris rolls with it. Gris, seasoned infiltrator that he is, has to be reminded that he should probably change out of his Army Intelligence uniform by the formerly drunken desk jockey, but of course "that was the very hint that [he] was waiting for." He gets back into civvie attire while en route, raising the question of whether or not he was carrying a change of clothes with him the whole time or if the colonel's aircar had a set that happened to fit.

And so they're off for their rendezvous with "smugglers" so Gris can grab the devices necessary to bug Heller. Because the Coordinated Infiltration Apparatus does not have such devices in stock, nor does it have an espionage specialist able to tell Gris which ones he needs, nor does it have a secure operating room to perform a surgical bugging or a surgeon to do the cutting, nor does it have any other personnel able to perform these errands rather than have Gris do every damn thing related to getting Mission Earth airborne.

These guys couldn't manage a fast-food chain, but they're trying to take over the empire. Hubbard villains, ladies and gentlemen.


Back to Chapter Three

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