Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Part Three, Chapter Eight - Multitasking

The Mission Earth drinking game: read the word "shabby," take a shot.

They exited from Lombar's office, some of the cream of the Apparatus high ranks: gaunt, grayish faces, suspicious eyes, black uniforms, shabby, shabby, shabby. A general in the Army Division looks like a monument lit up for a feast day; a general of the Apparatus looks like a tramp abandoned him in a garbage can as not worth scavenging.

So was Hubbard like this in real life, constantly remarking on how badly-dressed or ill-kempt people around him were, while nodding his approval at crisp, freshly-laundered uniforms? Did he demand that his followers wear specific outfits and inspect them each morning to make sure they were up to snuff? Did he really believe that one's physical appearance was a reflection of their moral character?

We get some useful information as the parade of planetary Apparatus heads and officers goes by - the not-CIA commands four million soldiers, which although "miniscule" compared to the might of the full Voltarian military is somehow enough to deter the rest of the government. Guess all those badly-dressed, undisciplined washouts and criminals are really intimidating to seasoned space marines. The crowd also clues Gris in that the meeting was an important one. "That eleven Apparatus generals had been seeing Lombar meant that something was having to be protected--something secret and sinister in the best Apparatus tradition."

Whatever you're thinking is probably better than what Hisst's actual plan is.

When Gris finally gets to see the chief, Hisst has him sign a receipt for the latest shipment of a Mysterious Something from Earth. Hisst explains that Gris is still head of Section 451, but this won't interfere with his role as Heller's supervisor for Mission Earth - Gris will get sent all his paperwork. He'll also get to sign the shipping order for further packages of a Mysterious Something, which will be sent back along with a signed receipt for receiving the shipment. Hisst reassures Gris that he'll be getting paycheck for his job as Section Chief, Mission Earth coordinator, and cargo inspector, so lucky for him, huh?

If it weren't for this insightful parody, I never would have guessed that the CIA was so redundant and incompetently bureaucratic.

Hisst also raises the matter of the leak, whoever let the papers know that Heller was going on Mission Earth. The Grand Council has read the news and congratulated the Apparatus for their choice, and also mentioned inspectors to make sure things go smoothly. Naturally, this means that Hisst recommends getting off-planet as soon as possible. This, regrettably, will not happen.

This brief and uneventful chapter ends with Gris leaving the office, stunned by his promotions and shaken by off-hand threats about the consequences of failure.


Back to Chapter Seven

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