Friday, June 14, 2013

Part Fifty-Seven, Chapter Five - Stupid American Tourists

Nothing, nothing at all.

Madison and Teenie have some problems in Corsica - whenever they ask where "this great outlaw, Napoleon" made his hideout, they keep getting unfriendly looks from the natives.  So Teenie hits the yacht's library, mentally exhausts herself by struggling through the Encyclopaedia Britannica, but manages to discover that Napoleon was exiled to the island of Elba.  And being banished is basically like being an outlaw, right?

I guess this is what happens when schools focus more on classic revenge novels than history.

Teenie is stupid.  I mean really stupid.  She's barely literate, she has to get "Inky" to tell her what letter comes after 'N,' and she's shocked that the two-dimensional navigational charts and the globe both represent the same planet.  So she has to get the Chief Steward to help her find the Isola d'Elba off the coast of Corsica, with the suggestion that they've stayed up late looking over maps before.  Madison is delighted that they've found Napoleon's "hideout," while Gris wonders what Teenie is up to.

But in looking back, I am amazed that, with all my training and experience, even then I did not begin to even guess what her enthusiasm was really centered upon right then.  Had I done so, I might very well escaped.

If you have to spend the end of each chapter in this part of the book desperately throwing in hooks to create some sort of dramatic tension, just rewrite the damn book. 

Ironically, something actually happens next chapter that isn't foreshadowed at all.  And it is catastrophically stupid. 

Back to Chapter Four

No comments:

Post a Comment