Spartacus' trail leads to Naples, described as another "teeming forest of cargo booms," before going cold. But Teenie hears about "somebody named Garibaldi who had helped wrest a lot of Italy from the age-long dominion of Austria and gotten shot for his pains." There is no attempt to tie Garibaldi to the "outlaw" research Madison's undertaking, and he is in fact only mentioned one other time in this chapter. Really, he's only brought up to justify a trip to Sicily - Garibaldi landed at Palermo at one point in his long and illustrious military career, don'cha know.
So they go to the Mafia's ancestral homeland, which merits a full sentence or two of description such as "one could imagine, from that rugged and sometimes barren terrain, how it could breed so many hit men." Gris and Madison and Teenie go hiking, and the view from the hills convinces Teenie that the world is indeed round. Then she wonders why everybody doesn't fall off the planet, Madison tries to explain how gravity works, Gris fails to offer any sort of alien insight regarding our primitive understanding of astrophysics, and Teenie decides Madison is lying. The "re-establish Teenie's stupidity" objective is completed for the chapter.
They also talk briefly about mobsters, and how the Corleones are bad news. They needed to be in Sicily to do this.
Gris spends half a page checking on his enemies' viewscreens. Heller is taking his finals, while Bang-Bang and Krak are in a gun store, where the Countess would like something more potent than .375 magnum "shells." Gris has a little panic attack, as if heavy-caliber ammunition would be required to bring him down, rather than an ill-tempered lesbian. Or a banana peel.
After checking the local catacombs to view the remains of an American consul who knew Garibaldi (second and last mention of the guy), Teenie goes shopping and returns with a bunch of books she only realized were written in Italian after she'd purchased them. Gris translates, finding that one covers the history of the Corleones. Gris recognizes both the late "Holy Joe" [Corleone] and the late [Gunsalmo] Silva - that is to say, the husband of a character who was very significant for one book or so before disappearing from the story, and another character who was never very significant and never accomplished anything besides making Gris soil himself. This irrelevant subplot is reminding us of other irrelevant subplots.
Another book is about the next "outlaw" Teenie and Madison want to study, some Macedonian barbarian named Alexander. Gris doesn't like the thought of getting that close to Turkey, and Teenie tries to reassure him that they'll be heading to Egypt to learn more about "Chinese" Gordon after that. She also mentions that some "tough-looking Mafia type" was asking about Gris at the docks, but he has no reaction to this news.
More pot. More music. More sex.
Go on home!
To bed.
Go on home!
To bed.
To me.
Go on home!
To bed.
To me.
To oh, boy!
Push it home!
To me.
To oh, boy!
Push it home.
More attempts at drama: "Stupid (bleep) that I was, I thought she was giggling because she was high on pot!" Yes, after chapter after chapter of aching boredom, surely something interesting will happen on the next page.
Back to Part Fifty-Seven, Chapter Seven
"Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?" was much more fun.
ReplyDelete