Kinda like how Gris discovers that thanks to HellerVision he can see better through Heller's eyes than the man himself can, as Gris is somehow able to focus on things in Heller's peripheral vision, stuff he isn't directly looking at. It even has picture-in-picture, so he can go over old footage while a real-time update continues. The recordings for this space-aged device are stored on "strips" of something, by the way. If it was actual film strips, I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest.
After lamenting that he missed the part where Heller was wandering around the base, his attempts at making conversation or requesting a ride coldly rebuffed by his forewarned coworkers, Gris watches his nemesis hike into Afyon, and even spots something Heller apparently missed - someone hiding in a shadow, waiting for him. The hatchet-faced fellow surprises Heller and demands to know if he's with the "Yew S Drug Enforcement. The narcs!" The man turns out to be a Mafia goon by the name of Jimmy "The Gutter" Tavilnasty...
I was hoping that things would get, I dunno, a little better once we got off the tedium that is Voltar. Stupid of me, I know. Tavilnasty. I Googled it and the first two pages at least were nothing but other Mission Earth websites. Which was actually kinda scary - imagine finding out that some other blogger had already sporked this turkey?
Anyway, Nasty mistakes Heller for a DEA newbie on the Mob's payroll, and offers a C-note (which Heller mistakes for a credit) if Heller can help with a contract (killing). Nasty's looking for our friend Gunsalmo "is this guy going to be important?" Silva, who's suspected of offing Don "Holy Joe" Corleone. Heller gets out his notepad and helpfully tries to jot down some info, since this stranger's Family is very upset. Nasty gives Heller the address and phone number - "it's KLondike 5-8291," which I can't make heads or tails of - of Holy Joe's ex, Babe Corleone, in case he wants to drop off some intelligence if he's in the New Jersey area.
But Nasty eventually figures out that Heller isn't quite on top of things, and pulls him under a lamppost to get a good look at him. He declares that Heller's just a kid of sixteen or seventeen, a "leftover flower nut" looking for some freebies to smoke, and leaves in disgust. And back in his room, Gris hugs himself with glee that his nemesis is so healthy and fresh-faced that he looks like a high school student, meaning that no one will take him seriously.
I wonder why Hubbard decided his super-awesome perfect hero should be older than he looks? Is his youthful vitality supposed to be an "obstacle" for him to overcome, or is it yet another advantage since everyone will supposedly underestimate him? Is he trying to appeal to the young adult demographic? "This guy's really in his thirties, but he looks like you do, so you should read this dekalogy?" Wait, how old is Heller again? Screw it, I'm not checking.
Heller tries to make sense of this encounter for a moment, then continues on, walking towards a bar whose owner was "the usual greasy, mustached Turk..." so is Gris or Hubbard talking here? Heller asks for a glass of water, but the bartender pretends not to speak English and shrugs him off. Then the man reconsiders and pours out a refreshing glass of This Will Give You Cholera, indicating which seat Heller should take. And did you know that Gris' magical biological bugs can hear better than the ears they're attached to? Yes, even though the same nerve impulse is traveling to Heller's brain and Gris' receiver, Gris has the audio quality to hear the barkeep pick up the phone and say "he is here" in Turkish.
Heller is oblivious and sits down, putting some poppies in his glass rather than drink it. Gris speculates that he must be homesick since Manco has some horticulturists, ergo Heller loves flowers, but is soon distracted when his better-than-the-eye-you're-looking-through peripheral vision spots Heller's reflection in a mirror. His shirt is too small, he has no tie, he's dusty from the cement works and muddy from the poppy fields. And Gris gloats and gloats about how Heller looks even worse than the Turks sloppily imitating Western dress, while he's resplendent in his "gangster" costume.
"Heller," I said aloud in gloating glee, "I've got you just where I want you. And in my fondest dreams, I never thought you would look that bad! A dirty, penniless bum in a stinking slum café! Welcome to Planet Earth, Heller, you and your fancy ways. Everyone does MY bidding here, not yours! Our roles have reversed utterly! And it's about time!"
It's pretty sad how much of Gris' revenge centers on his nemesis looking shabby. Not unexpected, mind you, but still sad.
Back to Chapters Eight and Nine
If you meant you couldn't make heads or tails out of the phone number: old phone numbers were still 7 digits, but it was thought to be difficult to remember 7 digits at the time, so they'd make a word using as its first two letters the letter equivalents of the first two numbers, then rattle off the 5 numbers. However, the way it was spoken was more like "word-number number,number,number,number". So KLondike 5 3434 or whatever is 555-3434.
ReplyDeleteHuh. I guess I can see how that'd work, and I can also see why they stopped doing it.
ReplyDeleteI thought Hubbard made Soltan put the bugs in Jettero to show how evil Soltan is, but now that I've seen this chapter, it's obvious that Hubbard was struggling with the first-person perspective he chose and wanted a way to write from the viewpoint of Jettero Heller, because he's so awesome. As if we didn't get enough of him already.
ReplyDeleteIt has stuck with me that a childhood telephone number started with "666" but was always said "Normandy 6", although I do not remember the trailing digits. Thing is, that custom fell out of use in the early 60's, and it is astonishing that Hubbard did not know that, twenty years later.
ReplyDeleteHubbard also wrote a book titled Scientology 8-8008, which I always assumed was supposed to be a phone number pun. But he wrote that book back when people still wrote phone numbers that way.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I finally get the name of the movies Pennsylvania 6-5000 and the spoof Transylvania 6-5000.
ReplyDelete