Turns out the Apparatus had agents on Earth as far back as during World War One, and three such infiltrators had missed their ride home. This left them in Turkey in the middle of the Greco-Turkish War, and then it gets confusing. Gris claims that the Voltarians saw Turkish forces under Ismet Pasha defeat the invaders at Afyon in 1920. Wikipedia, on the other hand, tells me that the Battle of Afyonharahisar took place in 1921 and was a Greek victory. Whatever. The Apparatus jerks stole Turkish uniforms and went on to serve in the rest of the campaign, becoming pals with Ataturk after the formation of modern Turkey.
This trio of advance agents must have been far-sighted, because when they finally called in for pick-up they came up with a fundraising plan - opium, produced all around Afyon, was becoming very lucrative due to American efforts to clamp down on the drug trade. So the Apparatus, under Lombar Hisst's predecessor Old Muhck... you know, I think I've figured out why this is labelled satire. In a non-satirical work, you can't get away with calling your villains "Stabb" or "Muhck" or "Bastard McDevilpants." Hubbard had to be creative in Battlefield Earth and make up names like "Terl" or "Snit." Here all he has to do is misspell pejoratives.
Anyway, espionage groups like the Apparatus always have trouble with finances, because it takes a lot of money to bribe your way through customs and form a cover identity to get a job as newspaper worker so you can print "Capitulate To The Invader Demands Before It Is Too Late!" headlines during the invasion. So the Apparatus set up its base in Turkey, integrated itself into Afyon's local economy and ingratiated itself to the locals by buying their crop (they think the aliens are from the Mob), and presto, a decades-long extraplanetary drug smuggling operation was born. And then Lombar succeeded Muhck (poison was likely involved), read about Britain's use of opium in China, and decided to do the same to his home planet.
That's really most of the chapter. Gris eventually gets to his villa, the staff of which are still sleeping and don't know he's back. He overpays his driver by a huge amount by accident but decides to roll with it because he's in such a good mood, and then imitates a gangster:
"Listen, pal, there's a broad, a dame, a skirt, see. She'll be getting off the morning plane from the big town. You keep your peepers peeled at the airport, put the snatch on her, take her to the local sawbones and get her checked for the itch in the privates department and if she gets by the doc, take her for a ride out here. If she don't, just take her for a ride!"
Gris' driver, who he remembers is a child rapist, joins Gris to scream with laughter before departing, leaving us with an exciting cliffhanger as Gris opens his mouth to call for someone to haul his luggage.
Back to Chapter Six
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