Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Part Seventy-Two, Chapter Five - Teenie Gone Wilder

Hey, remember when Madison would start devising headlines out loud when he was talking shop with Gris?  The author suddenly does, and Madison mentally composes his own obituary while, as I said last time, continuing to stand and watch Teenie eat.  It's pretty short and disappointing.

That done, Madison decides to gamble that now that "the beast in her" (Teenie's stomach?) is fed, she'll be more receptive, and he tries to appeal to their shared humanity.  Teenie complains about Madison's behavior on the yacht in Book Seven.  So Madison stresses the importance of helping him finish the Heller job.  Teenie, and the reader, finds no (bleeps) to give.  So Madison talks about trying to get Hisst on the throne.  Teenie laughs at this, because from her connections with the palace pages, she knows how the Grand Council, drug-addicted and in Lombar's power as they are, still laugh at him for being a low-born "rat."  So Madison resorts to getting on his knees and begging her to help - he desperately needs her INFLUENCE after all, it's not like he knows any other powerful people on Voltar.  But she laughs, announces she has a class starting soon, snaps her fingers, and two twelve-year-old boys run into the hall.

I'd say we're descending into hell at this point, but I think we've been moving through one layer or another since Book Four.  Mostly circles two and seven.

Then suddenly he registered what she was doing.  He was horrified for more reasons than one.  Good Heavens, she was going to disgrace herself and not even be able to help him if she would.  She had gone insane!

She had signalled to the two boys before her and they were grinning in a knowing way and taking off their clothes!

"No, no!" cried Madison.  "Not here! This is a public audience hall!"

Madison's objections are not, of course, that Teenie's engaging in sexual relations with other preteens.  He's worried that she's ruining her public image before he can piggy-back on her INFLUENCE to make Heller famous.

Teenie kicks him out, or rather orders him to leave, but Madison ignores her and continues to watch and react.

Madison stared.  He was horrified.  "Teenie! What are you doing?  Don't make that boy into a queer!  Take that out of your mouth!"

Remember, in a world ruled by psychology, "queer" means "straight."

Teenie leaned back and looked in disdain at Madi­son.  "They're not being made into queers, idiot.  They'll be top-grade catamites when I'm done.  It's still early and I'm just playing around waiting for the audience.  You should see what happens then!"

You can learn a lot about gay sex from a woman, right?

Madison once again tries to convince her of the inappropriateness of engaging in sexual behavior in front of other people, especially the help.  Teenie replies that these people used to serve Queen Hora, so they're used to debauchery.  Also, they only get paid when royalty is occupying this palace, so they're quite happy to serve "Her Majesty" Teenie.  So a bunch of butlers and cooks and whatnot have been hanging out in an empty building, waiting for migratory bluebloods to move in and give them a salary.  Stupid, but par the course for Voltar.

The silver-clothed servants glower at Madison, some brandishing alien axes and offering to execute him right then and there.  Teenie actually considers it, because kids her age are kinda psychotic, but checks her watch and realizes she'll be late for her appointment.  So instead of kicking Madison out, which is what she tried to do earlier, or having him killed, when she was thinking about, Teenie whimsically orders her servants to tie him to a chair so they can prepare the hall for her big show.  It's not like he's been making a nuisance of himself and interrupting her or anything.

The chapter ends with Madison in shackles, spat on by one guard while another named Hammer is ordered to keep him safe - because by insulting their beloved Queen Teenie, other members of the staff are likely to try and cut Madison's throat.

I'm torn between lumping these chapters into single posts to try and get through them quickly, or taking my poison in small doses at a time.  Maybe the latter will help to build up a resistance?

Back to Chapter Four 

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