Gris meekly asks why he was summoned, and the answer turns out to be a pile of blank gate passes to the Apparatus base back on Voltar. One page of stamping. Then comes an "awfully official looking. Ominous" form for Gris to acknowledge the receipt of an unidentified freighter invoice. Another page of hesitating before finally stamping. And then the invoice in question comes up, concerning a shipment of "30,000 pounds in 50-pound bars, 100% pure GOLD."
Yes, they capitalized it on the invoice.
So here's Gris sudden fortune, as promised on the book jacket. At some point, I forget how many books ago, there was a chapter in which Gris spent a few paragraphs writing angry letters back to Voltar. And one of those letters was a complaint that the Zanco company hadn't given him his proper kickback to buy gold with. And apparently Zanco not only read and responded to that letter, but they decided to cut out the middleman and send him gold. And since these advanced space aliens use a lot of gold in their "cellological items because it did not tarnish and so did not poison cells," they could get the stuff cheap for a credit a pound.
Gotta wonder which seemingly inconsequential action from the last book will lead to a deus ex machina two books from now.
Gris asks to see his new treasure, and is led to the ship's storeroom to open one of the three hundred boxes filled with "BEAUTIFUL YELLOW!" Bolz is happy to see the stuff gone, given "the kind of crew I've got and the price of gold being what it is on this planet," and leaves Gris in his cabin before heading to Istanbul on personal business. Gris is still bug-eyed from his sudden reversal in fortune.
Now, Voltar has laws "forbidding the export of metals that would upset the currencies of primitive worlds," and oddly enough the Apparatus has decided to abide by them while operating on Earth. But Gris decides he might make an exception for this case. Despite all the fuss with Utanc and Krak and his newly-augmented genitals, Gris has still kept a watch on the fluctuating price of gold, and knows that it's recently shot up to $850 an ounce. He's also good enough at mental math to calculate that thirty thousand Voltarian pounds equals twenty-five thousand Earth pounds, which equals three hundred thousand Troy ounces, bringing the estimated worth of his haul to $255 million.
I could pay off the credit card companies!
I wouldn't lose the villa. The staff wouldn't be sold into slavery. I wouldn't be sold into slavery.
Nice of him to put the servants first.
More! With that much money, I could wheel and deal and wangle and get anything done to Heller and Krak that I wanted!
WOW!
It didn't even make any difference if she was using my credit card!
Who the Hells cared?
WOW! WOW!
I could buy that bulletproof limousine!
I could buy and sell anybody I wanted to!
Utanc even would fawn on me!
Oh, a gorgeous world was really opening up!
WOW! WOW!! WOW!!!
I think you can see where this is going. Gris' windfall looks to be a way for the Countess Krak to keep making fabulously expensive, frivolous purchases. And just a few sentences after exulting how he'll be able to use his fortune to go after Krak and Heller, Gris is already thinking of ways to squander it.
The problem, of course, is moving and storing thirty thousand pounds of gold bars - Gris certainly isn't going to be able to get it out of the ship on his own, and then there's what the crew might do if they find out about the loot, or what would happen if he tried to waltz into Istanbul and start cashing blank gold ingots. Yes, like so many stories throughout history have warned us, sometimes wealth is a burden of its own. "I HAD TOO MUCH GOLD!"
Gris remembers that Switzerland just passed some "new laws" that enable their banks to accept gold with no questions asked - yes, in addition to watching gold's market price, he keeps an eye on foreign legislatures. And then we get to watch Gris' train of thought leave the station.
But there were lots of borders to cross between here and there!
Borders? Border-jumper. The line-jumper! That piece of Army equipment the Antimanco Stabb had found. He said it was specifically designed to lift and carry a hundred tons.
Yes, how fortunate that one of those vehicles had been lying around the base, and got fixed up just in time for Gris to receive a load of treasure just the right size for it to transport.
The only remaining problem is how to get the gold out under the noses of a bunch of pirates.
But Gods, did I need an idea!
No sooner prayed for than received! Instant service from the celestial realm!
Like a bolt from the blue, the idea struck!
Amazing, how Gris' wishing things to happen causes things to happen. Except for all the times it doesn't and he gets the exact opposite of what he wanted.
With that cliffhanger chapter ending, we've got the plot for Fortune of Fear: Gris' trip to a Swiss bank and subsequent spending spree. And maybe something about Krak and Heller later, but that's about fifty pages away.
The odd thing is that gold actually has some medicinal and biological uses, but not in the way Hubbard was probably thinking. Also, it would've been nice to foreshadow cellology's casual use of gold by having Gris comment on the lustrous sheen of Dr. Crobe's scalpels or whatever back in book one, but my hunch is that Hubbard didn't put much thought into planning The Biggest Science Fiction Dekalogy* Ever Written.
* DEKALOGY: A group of 10 volumes
Back to Part Thirty-Six, Chapter Eight
I think he was afraid of pissing off the Countess Krak or something. Been years since I read this Dekology.
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